So we meet again, well not literally meet, but you know what I mean! Its been a long time since I last blogged and I could write a long paragraph explaining where I’ve been and give a long list of my important exploits, but that would be lying. In reality, I have been indulging in a lot of meaningless sex and most of my time has been spent between clinics and pharmacies, procuring that morning after pill. That shxt costs £25 you know, if only it was that cheap to get n***s slumped on the ends. I could give you a break down of how much this costs and how I know, but that might interfere with one or two open cases I might or might not have!
“Going Dutch - is a term that indicates that each person participating in a group activity pays for himself or herself, rather than any one person paying for anyone else, particularly in a restaurant bill. It is also called Dutch date and Dutch Treat”
That’s for anyone that was wondering what the title was all about.
The topic I’m discussing today has been on my mind for a while now & I’ve finally decided to address it.
“I would NEVER pay on a date unless it was the guys birthday or something.”
When I saw a girl tweet that once, it kinda made me chuckle a little because if she were to go on a date with me with that kind of mentality, she would definitely be a hungry razzle by the end of the night, she would literally watch me eat! Do I look like a d**khead? This is a rhetorical question, if you’re the smart arse thinking of an answer to it, go f**k yourself!
There are a lot of mixed views on who should pay on the first date, mine is a simple one, if you ever have the misfortune of agreeing to a date with me, more time i will pay, but don’t you EVER in your d**khead life, leave your fathers house EXPECTING me to pay for you because you will wash dishes at the restaurant after your meal!
There’s nothing I hate more that taking someone on a date and wasting money, ladies don’t waste his money, you don’t know how many times he’s had to walk around with cocaine in his arsehole to make that money! (I’m not a drug dealer so don’t try drop jokes about me putting things up my arse) If I take you on a date and i pay, bitch better eat EVERYTHING on that plate, the f**k I look like? We will sit in the restaurant until closing time and I will make sure you suck the marrow out of those bones! You think you can order £60 worth of food, on me, and only take TWO nibbles and think I won’t clap your phone after the link? (Clap – Rob/Steal)
The day VAT (Value Added Tax) went up to 20%, your chances of getting taken on a date went from ‘highly unlikely‘ to ‘only if It’s certified that she lets me juice after‘! Some of you ladies don’t even get taken on dates but you want to be throwing around demands and make noise over who’s paying? When was your last date? Where did he take you, park?
The way I see it, on a first date, where you take a woman should be determined by the results of her ‘Credit Score’. Calculating this is easy, acquire her ‘estimated mileage’, put this up against her age and then divide this by her looks on a scale of 1 to 10 and then multiply this by her estimated amount of moral fibre, you can then decide whether to take her to a nice restaurant or to make her bring sandwiches to your mates uni room based on your results. If he asks you to bring sandwiches and condoms, you already know your credit score failed you.
But on a serious note though, paying on a date should either be taken on by the guy or who ever initiated the date. Paying, is the gentlemanly thing to do, but ladies need to realise that not all guys are gentlemen, some of these nxggas will make you hop out the car and direct them into the parking spot in the RAIN. This dude can hardly afford to pay his half of the meal, you’ll both be washing dishes if you come unprepared. What if you have an argument half way through the date, do you think he will still pay for you? I will leave you there to clean up the restaurant you raggedy bxtch! it’s always nice to know that the so called ‘lady‘ is willing to cover her half of the bill, even if the guy ends up paying.
Ladies please show gratitude if a nxgga pays for the date, some of you b**ches will still be rude to a dude even after nices you, I’m not saying suck his d*** but saying thank you doesn’t cost a penny.
And on that note RIP – My Step Sister ’1990-Something – Soon’
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